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Pen Name Bree-Z

I love that Sam post. I'm going through the same thing... It's really a bummer. I've been writing about it... Ahh. If you ever want to talk, you can message me. It would be great to have someone to talk to, you know?

Asked by sin-nyx

Thank you! It really is a sucky situation to be in… :(
same to you though! Message me whenever.

(via sin-nyx)

My favorite part

(Source: martytarantino, via onlylolgifs)

Need to vent.

I am such a mess right now!! I’m am one bad look away from breaking down and crying. My work expects way too much out of me at very little notice and im sick of it. I love my job, and lately I can’t even get out of bed without feeling like shit. I need a break, or for my job to feel worth what I’m doing, or preferably both. My mom is losing her job, I may be moving on my own in a few months, I’m no where near the one person I can honestly say I love. I don’t have any friends except the ones i refer to by anything as my drinking friends” because honestly they can all be pretty shitty. In other words I’m extremely lonely. And I’m fucking tired. And done. Just done.

Everybody wants something from me and I don’t have the energy (physically or mentally) for it right now. I just want to break everything and cry.

Sam

I just thought you should know I thought of you, as I often do. And I miss you more than ever, sitting here alone on my break wishing I could do simple things like meet you for lunch. Or hug you when I come home. Or tell you about me day.

One day. One day. One day.

Sigh. I’ll always love you. I couldn’t escape that if I tried. My heart is eternally yours. I will forever crave your affection. Your touch. Your voice. Your hopes and thoughts and dreams. All shared with me, as you stare at me with those eyes.. like you think I’m worth something. Everything maybe. I can’t tell you how my heart aches to try and make sense of that. To comprehend that kind of love..

Love..

I once thought I knew what love was. And then I met you, and everything changed-

-Me, You, Us-

Forever.

Those long drives to work where you wonder why you even bothered to live this morning.

Early morning. A dangerous place to think.

You know those mornings. When you don’t have plans for the day, or if you do they are hours away… And you wake up and the blankets are warmed via body heat. And the room is quiet. And outside you hear the normal sounds of your home. Cars driving by. Or your neighbors talking. Birds singing, dogs barking at what appears to be nothing.

And this sort of calm come over you. Sometimes it’s sad. Sometimes it’s happy, but the kind you know won’t last long. It’s a fragile few moments that you want to hang on to for hours. Sometimes people do.

And while you lay there your mind goes into the deepest thought. And you think about things you normally ignore. Or don’t have time to think about.

Time…

All the while you realize that’s exactly what you’re wasting. Where has it gone. How did you become this. This being you see yourself as. “you”. And you don’t even know who “you” are. How others see you. Who you could become. What you will accomplish and take pride in. What you will screw up. And things you are going to miss out on, and regret.

It’s a vicious relentless cycle. That before long will come down to this thought- sad and said multiple times before action is taken-

"I’ve gotta get up now."